06/23/24 ~11:00 PST - yet more 'invisible' progress but bigger stuff this time

i finally got around to making some of the navbar assets yesterday plus a few tweaks like making them light up when hovered over. subtle things but nice to have... i've been playing with the idea of a status and update boxes for the index page, but where i'm getting lost in the weeds is just not having enough stuff to put in the status box lol... updates take care of themselves, i just have to summarize what i've been working on or up to in general, but all i've got so far are status.cafe and imood, which are indeed neat to have, but feel like they might be work to keep updated and just don't take up enough visual space to justify having a box front and center with their contents. nonetheless i do like them, and if i can come up with something else then it would be nice to arrange something. maybe i'll shelve the idea for now and stick them elsewhere so i don't forget, but don't have a weird box of nothing on the front page.

i may end up redoing some of the iconography for the nav assets later but honestly i just want to have something done enough to move on with the project... i still don't know if it's possible for me to store the data for how they're displayed in the css so it can be cached yet, but with media queries building up and not being able to just let the images squash and stretch, it'd definitely be better if i could condense it. i was almost wondering about if i could stick that information into an iframe and let another html document hold things, but i don't know if that'd be good for accessibility..? i want to save space on each page for the actual contents and have it all load without delay where possible, even on "lower-end" systems. and i don't want to use javascript for anything i don't strictly have to, especially something so vital as the navigation of the site. there's definitely gotta be some way to do it...
are background images treated the same as normal img??? it's a css attribute vs an html tag so not in a literal sense... like i suppose i could turn each link into a class (id?) with a bg image but i feel like that'd also take up space? i guess at least for the header i can do that, since i probably won't be changing it on a page-by-page basis (it's an interesting idea but i fear it's also a lot of effort that i don't know that i'd be able to sustain - though i suppose if i'm not constantly creating new pages for the hell of it it'd even out eventually). either way, i'll figure it out.

there's so much that goes into every little choice... it's taking a while; but this is definitely the longest i've ever sustained my attention on one project (adhd win), it's kind of wild. it all feels very piecemeal, still, but i'm inching towards something i feel like i can be proud of (even if it kind of sucks lol). i'm at the very least excited for when i can roll out the layout update across the rest of the site and start working on actual content so there's something meaningful for people to look at. and very much ready to resolve some of these hacky solutions i've been working with...

06/11/24 ~20:00 PST - still at it (crawling pace)

wrists are giving me a bit of shit for all the recent work but progress continues, albeit slowed. basic layout redux is about done and as a bonus i didn't register until after it was done is that it works with the firefox reader view now. accessibility stuff still needs a lot of work naturally, but i'm pleased when that kind of thing functions nonetheless.
i got a lot of work done a few days ago with having the layout scale to match different browser window sizes. it goes down to 726 pixels before a horizontal scrollbar is necessary, and at this point i don't think my "target audience" is people looking at my site on their phones anyway so i'm generally satisfied with that for now. still a few more things to fiddle with that might let me bring that number down, make things easier to look at. i'll have to see. i'm only testing with firefox for the moment but i picked up palemoon to see if there were any notable differences in the way things display between the browsers. eventually i may have to redownload chromium to check things there but i hate google so bad dude, it burns even the open-source base for me. i have an idle curiosity to see if i can make things look reasonable in dillo lol but that's even lower priority. mostly i just need to do something with the navigation.

i can continue to tweak layout stuff but i'm still putting off the theming. i just really need to make a background and that would solve like 80% of what's frustrating me with the flatness of everything but i don't know what i want that to look like. what kinds of colors... what subject? should it tile? (i honestly don't really like the idea of a tiling bg for my site because i find they usually draw my eyes to the borders between the tiles a lot...) that aside, i'm thinking of just putting like, a white noise filter over the top of my test page so i don't feel so weird about messing with it. crunch it up. something like that.

05/23/24 ~00:30 PST - css woes but also fun but also woes

i've been testing layout stuff all day... i'm going to bed soon, but at least up until i tried messing with css border images in the latter half, it was pretty rewarding. i still don't understand how the hell the image slicing part of that works and therefore also have no fucking clue how to design an image to work well with it, let alone get it to display properly... i honestly feel like it would be easier if i could just separately draw a tileset for each corner and the edges and then stitch them together on the page, instead of trying to combine it all into one image and trying to get the browser to parse it exactly the way you want. but with what little i've seen so far, it feels like even if there is a way to do that, it's probably deprecated now for being "bad code" or whatever...
i get the idea of making you write smarter code rather than having the computer try and guess at what the author wants (or something to that effect) but dude; sometimes some idiot dweebus like me just wants to make their own website and have things work and look nice. and i know, if i wanted things to "just work" i should've used wix or whatever the hell, but i wanted to write this stuff myself, because it's so much more fulfilling at the end when you've finally got it all just the way you want. it's just part of the frustration of learning something your brain isn't really naturally geared towards... i like to complain, that's all. but ouuoghghhhgh some of this shit with css really is a pain in the ass in ways that feel purposefully obtuse!!

05/21/24 ~15:30 PST - router problems, joint problems (ow)

i really wanted to work on the site yesterday but the wifi went down about an hour after i woke up while i was still acquiring brain function... i spent the whole rest of the day alternately troubleshooting and painstakingly copying the site code for the pages i wanted to work on from my phone over to my computer (but didn't end up doing anything further in the end)... just the day before, i was thinking about wanting to back up each page so i could work on things without having quite as many browser tabs open (a count of librewolf gives 119 tabs right now, yes it's dire and i have more in firefox); and in the end we had to completely factory reset the router itself -- hypothesis was a corrupted update or something, but either way it's working now. i did also learn that i could check if the issue was upstream by jacking directly into the modem, at least, so that's another way to narrow things down in the future if issues crop up again... but anyway, connection issues aside.
i've done a little work on the music page, not much formatting but adding a bit of content. i think when i start linking to each of the artists i mention, i'll see if i can find either a bandcamp or a dedicated website if they have one, right to the source where possible.

on an only-slightly-related note, i've been having my monthly "i should probably be taking better care of my wrists [/ joints / body in general]" so i pulled out these cheap brace-wrap things i bought a few months ago. i last wore them a few days around the time i got them until my wrists felt better, but i might need to use them more consistently while i'm doing a lot of writing and such... i was working on a theme mockup ereyesterday which made my right wrist sore and pretty noticeably swollen -- verbally confirmed by my mom, so i can't really ignore it after that. but i still haven't really figured out a consistent way to have the braces on in a way that's both comfortable enough and also seems like it's supporting the right areas... i suppose i'll work it out with practice and paying attention to the anatomical points i position each part of the wrap at, but beyond that i'm not really 100% sure of what i'm doing at all (beyond not putting edges in spots that'll rub up on bone, i've definitely figured that part out).
it's difficult thinking of ways to improve the ergonomics of my workspace much, because i work on a laptop in bed (the computer's propped up on a wooden board, i'm not a heathen leaving the thing raw on the blanket) so my options are mostly... pillows, i guess? which, i have a small one that i've got under my left elbow right now since that hand stays on the keyboard, but the only other one is behind my back. i've got the blanket bunched up a bit to sit my right arm on but it's kind of fiddly. the braces feels weird - the way they sit against my skin and the mouse, they smell weird and rubbery (though it's fortunately already dulled somewhat over time), and having to take them off and put them back on every time i use the bathroom is a bit of a pain. i guess no one ever said things that are good for you are easy... but it's worth doing -- at least, if you're doing it right, which... i'm not sure, but i'll find out. i've been to physical therapy before and i'm sure my body will give me a reason to go again eventually, so i suppose i can collect questions until then...

having a body is so much work... i'm trying to ignore pain and discomfort less, treat it more as a signal from my body that something's wrong, but it's difficult to do when you're always a little bit uncomfortable from kind of generalized deconditioning. i'm still 20 but i feel like my joints are like 5-10 years advanced in age... i really oughta start exercising again, i felt good while i was doing the pt exercises last year, but then things happened and i lost the paper with the list... well, i'll get back there eventually. make sure to take care of your body, everyone! *sound of crickets*

05/19/24 ~13:30 PST - nebulous visualizing

i'm working a little bit on formatting, consistency, the like. i love formatting. but i also hate doing so much of it by hand... but i also want to do it by hand because automation means i have to go through the process of learning tools to do so and that's more maintenance and focus required, even if it's more just in the short-term... it's kind of making me want to go back to bed. i need to figure out css again though....... man. i'll do it though! i'll do it... it's a lot of reading, and i do like reading, but it's so much technical reading and as much as i love learning it makes my brain fog over so fast if i'm not careful and i stop really giving a damn pretty quick. who doesn't love reading documentation.....?
i think i'm going to switch to a monospace font for a bit, i've always kind of preferred how they look. but i don't know what it'll do for readability one way or the other. i can always change it back if necessary. i'll have to look for one i like; the generic courier-type font is alright but i want something else... i'll see. it might be a while before i really delve into that subject so maybe i'll end up changing it back to a normal sans-serif in the meantime. we'll see.

i still don't really know what i want out of this visually. i do think i'll probably end up departing from the black and red, it's nice but not really what i want for this website specifically and i only really used it initially to match the hellzone banner because i didn't feel like drawing my own at the time. it's gotta stay dark though, i don't like getting flashbanged by my screen. i was thinking something like a dark navy-blue for the textbox, and some teals and greens for the background. i'd like to do something with plant motifs, because they're always very pretty, but i don't know. maybe the black and grey will stay but i'll change up the accent color. either way i like a good cyan range.
man, this is why i tell people i'm an artist, not a graphic designer. i just draw funny little animals, i don't know for shit what to do with something like this. i see a lot of people use particular textures for their websites and they do often look pretty good (or at least interesting), but they're also busy and make it way harder to read if i can't wrangle the page colors into something darker that doesn't hurt my eyes. i'm coming back to the idea of different theme options but i still don't really know; it's hard to pick. would be best i think just to choose one aesthetic and go with it and figure out the rest later but i'm unfortunately also the most indecisive motherfucker on this planet. jewel tones or earth tones or monochromatics... too many choices!! but also never enough.

i've gotta figure out whether i want the theming to be more organic or digital... but then again, maybe i can do some kind of blend of both? there's always something interesting in the contrast. organic digital or digital organic...? i've never really been good at the whole mixed-media thing, again too indecisive. but i like the way it looks when other people do it. do i want something smooth, coarse, blocky, round, sharp, soft? what can be mixed? i think i want something more coarse... not quite 8/16-bit pixels, but i don't like when websites feel too sterile and smooth. i like rounded corners, but edges should stay sharply demarcated. something like that... i think the current generic smoothness of my site is what's not really hitting about it. then, i guess i really do need to work on the graphics part. well. that's something to work towards today. maybe i'll start with the header or the navbar graphics? or should i work on a border box for both? hm. i should stop typing and start drawing.

05/16/24 ~11:00 PST - i love making things...

i forgot how fucking fun all of this is god damn!!!!!!!!!! i love collecting information and implementing things and writing all kinds of bullshit. i love sharing and never shutting up one million years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i need to go and eat soon but i'm enjoying piecing things together again. i'd kept putting off working on this because i'd only remember it halfway through the day and i knew i'd stay up way too long working on it, or i wouldn't feel like refreshing my brain on everything i needed to do, or i'd already be busy with something else... i apparently dropped it for a full 8 months... we'll see how long it goes next time lol, but i think if i get a lot of stuff done that makes it easier to work on in the future it may be easier for me to keep throwing things at it. there's so much to play with.
i am still putting off working on the css again though... i still don't have much of a vision for what i want it all to look like, but the basic layout at least does work for slapping a bunch of text around. i want more, though!! i want a cool website like all the folks i'm taking inspiration from!!!! i oughta add a section (to the credits page, maybe) that links to a bunch of em... there's still so much to do. so much so much. alright i gotta go make food. ok ok ok

05/15/24 ~18:00 PST - back at it?

i'm working on the site again for the first time in a while. i'm not sure for how long, though, it's always like i spend a few hours playing around and shifting a couple of things, updating 2 or 3 details, then i forget about it for several months. i've wanted to make a page like this for a while though; i was considering whether to put it on the front page but i don't really like that idea for a number of reasons. eventually i want to build some system that works kind of similarly to a blog feed, where entries would eventually automatically shift to a second page once this one got full enough, but i'm alright with doing things manually for now. just a page with whatever i want to put on it in chronological order.
the idea for now is that i'll put whatever rambling i feel like doing in here rather than clogging my friend's messages with them. journal-adjacent but obviously filtered to some degree because it's still public-access, even if i'm not linking any of the other pages here yet. i wonder if rss feeds would be something relevant to look into? no idea how i'd set any of that up, though. i want to do more stuff on this website from scratch if possible, rely less on external services remaining functional where possible. but it's not like i'm not hosting this on neocities anyway, so who knows. i'll figure it out.